Another Weekend Comes & Goes...

Just a few weeks ago, while speaking to our Nurse Practitioner, Jeni jokingly said "You can send the girls home whenever, just make sure its not on Sept. 11. I'm going to the Kenny Chesney concert that day." Not sure if she doubted my abilities to handle the girls alone or not, but I think we both thought they'd be home by then or pretty close to it, so if they were home, it would be my first "test". However, as you all know, they are still not home... :(

People ask us every day "So, when are the girls coming home?" It used to be we could say "Oh, probably in the next 2-3 weeks." Or we could say "Probably late August or early September." Well, honestly, now I don't know what to tell people when they ask this. The fact is, there's no timetable (or "time horizon" as our President likes to say) on when they'll come home. It's not a matter of a date or age anymore... its simply when the girls decide to eat. And when I say eat, I mean eat like all other newborns where they wake up, cry, and basically demand to be fed. Our girls don't do this... And that's what is the most frustrating part is that there isn't a magic fix to this problem... We are just basically waiting on them to 'get it'.

So Friday was pretty standard. We visited the girls, headed home afterwards, and had some tilapia & rice for dinner. The usual, boring Friday night around our house...

Saturday morning, Jeni met Nancy for breakfast while I hung out at the house and Mike came over to watch the Mizzou game. When Jeni got back from visiting the girls at the hospital after breakfast, we headed over to my Dad's cousin's Karen & Don's house in Sunset Hills to visit with some relatives I'd hadn't seen in a really long time. It was nice to see everyone! Later that evening we stopped by to visit Keith & Amy and Baby Caroline before heading home.

Sunday morning I set my alarm early and went down to spend the morning with Olivia & Sydney. I swung by our favorite coffee place and picked up some coffee and breakfast for Jeni before getting on the highway. Unfortunately, Hurricane Ike (or what was left of him) decided to pay a visit to St. Louis at the same time. So, my usual 15-20 minute drive down to the hospital took me nearly 35 minutes as I avoided flooded out portions of the highway and the wind-driven rain.

I was able to arrive in time to give Sydney her 8 AM & Olivia her 9 AM feedings. They did better than they had been, but still no consistency. While I was there, I met with the girls' new pediatrician in the NICU. He said he was very happy with the girls' progress but totally understood our frustrations. He assured me that once they start taking their feeds, it will only be a few days after and then they'll be released to go home. That was good news...

I spent all morning with them until Jeni arrived at around noon. I left and went home to spend my Sunday afternoon watching some football. Jeni made it home around 6 tonight and we had some stir-fry for dinner. We finished the evening just being lazy on the couches... Again, typical boring night. I used to relish the boring evenings... now they just depress me because I think about what we should be doing with diapers & crying babies. Oh well... Keeping my fingers crossed that the 'eating fairy' will visit the girls sometime in the next few days and suddenly they will totally get it.

Until then.... more pictures.

By the way, there's a new problem that has cropped up... Now that the girls have put on more weight and their faces have filled out, it's VERY hard for us to tell them apart in some of these pictures... I honestly feel like a bad parent not being able to tell them apart always...

Anyway, here are our little lazy eaters...

Sydney (I think)

And Olivia (I hope)

Olivia was the clown this time... We'll see who is tomorrow...

M

How time flies...

As I listened this morning to the news of the ceremonies recognizing the anniversary of September 11th, I thought back on how much has changed in just 7 years. I still remember the morning of 9/11/01 and what I was doing. For some reason, the night before, I had left the radio in my car on KMOX instead of my usual FM station that ran the 1 hour taped delayed broadcast of Howard Stern. I probably wouldn't have known what was happening that morning had I not left it on an AM station. As I backed out of my driveway and listened to the news, I remember them mentioning that there were reports that an aircraft had hit the World Trade Center. I remember thinking, "Geez. Another idiot in his small private plane and when will these folks learn?" Obviously, later on, I learned it was not that at all. I can remember the stop I made at the 7-11 for a soda and a power bar. And I still remember how confused and lost everyone seemed when the news started breaking on what was really going on that day...

As I think about that day, it really doesn't seem all that long ago to me. However, in another way, my life is soooo very different since then. There have been some major events and changes in my personal life since then...

I met Jeni only a few weeks after 9/11.

We got married a year and a half later.

I sold the house I lived in then...

...moved into the house Jeni grew up in...

...and we bought the house we live in now...

We added another 4-legged member to our family with Sugar Raye.

Jeni and I have both lost grandparents.

I changed positions at Macy's twice since then...

...and lost my job there following a corporate reorganization...

...and got a new job at Save-a-lot.

Most importantly, I've become a father. Just typing that seems weird to me.

Obviously it was something that Jeni and I really REALLY wanted and we had to wait for longer than we had planned on.

As you can see from all of our blog entries, this pregnancy hasn't been an easy trip. Along the way, several times Jeni said to me "Why can't anything just be easy? Why can't we just have a normal pregnancy where everything goes o.k." Who knows why... but, as I told her then, just think of how much we'll appreciate everything when things sort themselves out. Things that are worth doing or having are rarely easily attained, or so I've seen. I still have to repeat that to myself sometimes... Especially a lot in the last few weeks when the frustration levels have really gotten high regarding the girls not being home yet.

So as I look back on 7 years since the day that changed so many peoples' lives, I think not so much of how much my life has changed, but of the experiences along the way through the changes. I guess if 7 years ago you'd tell me I'd be married by now, I wouldn't have been surprised. If you would have told me that I'd have 2 kids by now, again, I doubt I'd be surprised. But, no matter the ups and downs and the stress involved, even if I could, I don't think I would change much of how we've ended up where we are today. I guess that's just a part of life...

Anyway...

So today was supposed to be my first day alone with the girls at home. However, since they are still at the hospital, it was very similar to the last 2 months... I stopped by the hospital on the way home from work. Different today was that Jeni had already left to go home to get ready for the Kenny Chesney concert out at Whatever-they-are-calling-it-now Amphitheater/Pavillion. So I got 2 good hours of "Daddy-time" in with the girls. Sydney & Olivia both took bottles and did a pretty good job. Their eating habits have not been good since their shots yesterday so it was a good sign that they improved tonight. The nurse even declared that I "win the prize" as they both ate the most for me compared to everyone else who fed them today. I'm not really excited by that as I just wish they'd learn to eat well with everyone so they can COME HOME!

So after feeding both girls, I told them good night and headed home. Most of my evening was spent on the couch (that I never get to sit on anymore because someone else always claims it) watching TV and playing some video games... good mindless fun.

TGTIF (Thank Goodness Tomorrow Is Friday)!

Well, that's all for now. Here are some more shots of our little cuties!

Sydney Ann

Olivia Kay

2 Months Old!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as exciting as that is to Mom and Dad, WE (Sydney and Olivia) were not so excited. You see we got our shots. And it SUCKED.

For Mommy and Us. We all cried.

What Mommy learned....you DEFINATELY need a second person to be there when they have or have had their shots so that 2 people can rock babies. Not normally a problem but Daddy was in Columbia for work and with Mr. Clay for his follow up appointment at MU (ouch expensive but GREAT news). So, Mommy SHOULD have called Nana Sharon and asked her to come rock babies, but she didn't think about it. :( Bad Mommy. She knows better for our 4 month shots.

Seriously, Shots were the worst. Sydney fusses pretty regularly, so I was prepared for her reaction, but I was NOT prepared at all for the noise/cry of sheer pain/terror that came out of Olivia. It broke my heart. Both actually calmed down pretty fast, thank god for the 24 hours of Tylenol that they get after that. However, I learned from our night nurse that SYdney cried for 2 hours straight from 9-11. Poor baby. I should have stayed even longer last night. BUT I was sucked into how quiet and calm they were 2 hours after their shots, so I headed home.

In other news...Cassius went for his follow up appointment after his radiation treatments this July. THey showed Matt the before and after CAT scans of his macroadenoma and he said it was amazing to see how very small the tumor is now to what it was. It's now a 1/4 of the size it was before and WE can tell a difference. He wrestles with Sugar like you have never seen them. It's cool, loud, but cool! Sadly he has a cyst on the back of his neck he'll need removed because they said it could burst and that it would be NASTY if it did so. HOw much that will cost, god only knows, but we'll have to decide when to have it done once we hear the results of my letter to Hazelwood. The better the news the sooner it will be removed.

I did get a report that the girls are doing MUCH better or did much better last night with their bottles, so hopefully things are looking up. :)

WEll...here are the pics of the girls from their 2 month birthday!

Olivia..

Doing the "I HATE MY BENDY BUMPER SCOOT" in her crib before her shots, she has not a clue of what is to come.
Before her shots.....

Sacked out in Mommy's arms after her shots.....

After her bottle...after her shots, she ate NOTHING...for once a good thing they have tubes to be fed with as they used all their energy to SCREAM at their shots and nothing was left to use to eat..wish I had that talent!

Sydney...

Sydney before her shots....

After her shots....

Sacked out in her Mommy's arms after her shots...



The calm before the storm apparently.....

Enjoy...sorry for the tardiness of the blog, we have been having internet issues for the past couple days...I'm off to see Kenny Chesney tonight in the rain I am sure, so Matt will be writing!

Hope all is well!

J

The Daunting Task Ahead....

is learning to EAT. Apparently they really are NOT our kids, because both Matt and I do not seem to suffer from this phenomena.

UGH. Our poor girls. This is their last hurdle and they are SO very far from overcoming it that it's overwhelming and depressing to me at the same time. Even more depressing is that they tend to eat MUCH better for Daddy from the bottle than they do from Mommy or even the nurses. What sucks the most about that is that Daddy ONLY gives them a bottle ONCE a day. :( Poor girls.

I have to apologize for the lack of the blog, it just didn't happen. Between the storm and stuff around the house (that is STILL a disaster), I just simply didn't get to it. Matt was slaving in the girl's nursery (pictures to come this weekend because it will FINALLY be done), and thus I didn't feel right after he worked all day to ask him to write the blog too. So, I dropped the ball.

After my vent on Sunday night, I had long long talk with our NP Chris about my feelings over the weekend and what had happened with the nurse who told me she didn't have time to work with the girls. She took my feelings to the charge nurse and things are supposed to be getting better. The girls now have new types of bottles (a precursor to the Dr. Brown's bottles) called Mini-Haverman's by Medela (a speciality bottle that cannot be purchased outside of the medical field), notes in their charts that the nurses are to work with them for the ENTIRE 1/2 hour while they are with the bottle, and feed upon readiness cues. In addition, it was pointed out to me that the girls, especially Miss Olivia are not completely healed from their case of the thrush. Apparently they have a REALLY bad case of it. :( They said it's like burning your tongue and the sides of your mouth it hurts that bad and makes babies not want to eat. Stinky.

After Day 1 of the 'new schedule' things are okay. Neither girl did GREAT on the bottle, but Sydney continued to be a champion and Olivia (who has the more severe case of thrush) continued to not eat much.

The rest of week and into the weekend is promising to be pretty busy. Tomorrow is a crazy busy day for Matt, as he is going to MU to do mock interviews on campus and back to the Veterinary Hospital for Mr. Clay to get his check up from his radation treatments that he had back in July. Hopefully all goes well. Sadly the girls will not really get to see Daddy as a result of this. Hopefully he'll get in some seriious time on Thursday while I am at the Kenny Chesney concert with my friend Michelle. It promises to be a good time and not as hot as hades as it was last year. It makes for the best September 11th I've had since the year 2000. Friday is 'Aunt Nancy's' birthday, which I will celebrate with her on Saturday at our favorite breakfast place in Clayton, while Matt and the guys watch the MU game at our house.

I plan to continue to work with the girls all weekend long on feeding, as per normal. They SWEAR to me at the NICU that one day babies just get a visit from the 'nipple fairy' and the learn to eat. God I hope that happens soon. Until then we are not working on breastfeeding as much as we had been. Right now I just want to get them home, we can work on breastfeeding when they get home. Know what I mean?

Today I mailed my letter to Hazelwood appealing for time from the sick leave bank that I joined in my 3rd year of teaching by giving up 2 sick days. Hopefully they are able to give me some days so that I can stay home with the girls a little while longer, as our Dr's at Children's would like me too. With co-pays and medical bills things are getting TIGHT so I couldn't do unpaid leave days for as long as we wanted too. And since I've joined the sick bank and this is what it is for, I needed to apply. So, we shall see what happens. If they approve what I have proposed, I will be out of work until December 8th and will work for 2 full weeks before we are off for 2 weeks for Winter Break. Scary, Christmas is that soon.


I noticed that Matt saw fit to post another one of his Just My Opinion posts today...this one was rather hilarious and not as political as the other. Cute Sweetie, you continue to make me laugh, which is one of the many reasons I love you.

Well, today was boring, so, I'm off.

Here are some pictures of the girls from yesterday and today! You may notice as I have, that the closer they get in weight the more they look alike, which is scary because there are some pictures where I have a hard time telling them apart! Oh well...here goes, see for yourself!


Sydney....



Olivia...



Hope all is Well,
J

Just My Opinion, Vol. 2

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies...

It often puzzles me when I hear about dumb criminals or people getting caught in embarrasing situations and the excuses they come up with. It doesn't surprise me that the criminal element often gets caught doing dumb things. I mean, that's probably why they are criminals to begin with; they are too stupid or lazy to make a legitamate living. Things like bank robbers writing hold-up notes on their own deposit slips or burglers dropping their wallets at crime scenes make me chuckle and shake my head. However, its the more legitimate segment of the population that really leaves me in awe when they get caught lying or doing something they shouldn't.

Recently, two Georgia (the state, not the embattled former Soviet republic) residents recently caused a stir when they claimed to have found the body of Bigfoot! Well, maybe not The Bigfoot. I don't think there's like just one, I think the popular opinion in the Bigfoot ethusiast population is that Bigfoot is a species... By the way, should Bigfoot be capitalized? I'm thinking not... ANYWAY... These two guys, one a police officer and the other a corrections officer, released photos, videos, and scheduled news conferences to reveal the "body" of bigfoot. They even went so far as to "preserve" the body by freezing it in a solid block of ice in a chest-type freezer... Not surprisingly, the skeptics and the media came out in force to see their discovery.

Well, through a highly technical process known as "letting the ice thaw", the body was revealed to be simply this halloween costume.

As laughable as this is, it really makes me question the planning behind this "discovery". Did these guys actually think that no one would think to thaw out the body? Did they think that the rubbery costume and hollow mask would be mistaken for the body of this mystical creature? Just a tiniest of research revealed this whole thing to be a really poorly orchestrated hoax put on by two formerly respected members of their community...

So, why would people present lies as facts, when it's so easy in this time of instant journalism and the many, many media outlets to do just a tad bit of research to disprove them? And don't be fooled, this practice isn't limited to doofuses and bigfoot hunters. Politicians have fallen in this trap as well...

Most famously, self-proclaimed "not gay" senator Larry Craig from Idaho was arrested in a Minneapolis airport men's room while attempting to solicit an undercover officer for some hanky-panky. Larry claimed he was simply "picking up a piece of paper" from the floor and that his foot might have touched the neighbor's foot in the stall next to him because he's a "fairly wide guy."

Even though Craig claimed to be completely innocent, he plead guilty to disorderly conduct in hopes that the issue would go away "quickly and expeditiously". Unfortunately for Larry, these things don't go away quitely when they involve elected officials. Shortly afterward, 8 seperate men claimed to have had 'encounters' with Craig. Larry continues to fight his guilty plea and has been recently admonished by the Senate for using campaign contributions to pay for his legal fees...

While the facts in the Larry Craig example may be a "he said / he said" fight, other examples of frivolous lies have popped up in the presidential campaign. Hillary Clinton was exposed embellishing her trip to Bosnia as First Lady when she claimed to "...remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." Unfortunately for Hillary, there were quite a few people there to see what happened. And some of them actually had, *shocker*, CAMERAS!

Not to mention, Hillary's story was debunked by, of all people, stand-up comedian and fan-of-god-awful-shirts, Sinbad, who was also on the trip to entertain the troops for the USO. That's him in the blue coat behind Hillary and Chelsea. And below sporting what appears to be Rorschach test shapes in pretty colors...

Finally, in recent days, some of the best story-lines of the new Republican VP candidate have come into question. Upon her introduction to all of America (outside of Alaska), John McCain touted Palin's fight to kill the infamous "Bridge to Nowhere." Again, simple digging has discovered that she actually supported the bridge saying at the time, "The money that's been appropriated for the project, it should remain available for a link, an access process as we continue to evaluate the scope and just how best to just get this done. This link is a commitment to help Ketchikan expand its access, to help this community prosper. I think we're going to make a good team as we progress that bridge project."

McCain also touted Palin's devotion to cutting government waste when he announced last Friday, "You know what I enjoyed the most? She took the luxury jet that was acquired by her predecessor and sold it on eBay -- and made a profit!" Again, simple research by anyone has discovered that the plane was not sold on ebay. It was listed several times with no takers... and finally sold to an enterpreneur for $2.1 million. Great! Except it was originally purchased for $2.7 million... McCain must be using that "fuzzy math" Bush discussed in 2000 to determine that's a profit.

To me, it's not the dishonestly that's baffling in these examples... It's two other things:

1) It's the lie that's told that really doesn't need to be told... To lie for the sake of lying.

2) It's the profound stupidity of the liar not realizing how easily the lie will be shown to be just that: a lie.

So are people naturally dishonest? Nah. Little kids learn to lie at an early age to try and avoid punishment. Most learn their lessons and grow out of this habit. Some don't.

Maybe it comes down to something my mother-in-law has said many times: little boys who lie grow up to be weathermen.

I guess you can add to that politicians and Bigfoot hunters...

We Like, We Love...

We want some more of it. So apparently the girls STILL love Children's hospital. They love it so much that we are STILL not sure when they are officially coming home. 3 weeks ago we were told they'd be home by the 12th, now it's not looking like that's the date or that there is even a date in sight (again). I'm frustrated to say the least. I can't wait for this $#!% to be over. I feel as if my entire maternity leave has been wasted and it's frustrating. I feel like EVERYONE else is getting to or going to get to spend time with my babies BUT me. I didn't get to see them until 4 days AFTER they were born (everyone else had already been to see them), now they live at Children's and I can only see them during certain hours, and next thing I know I'll be back at work and my mom and Matt's mom will be taking care of them for a couple weeks, at which time I won't be able to see them. This sucks.

Both girls have gained weight, Sydney is finally over 5 pounds and Olivia is over 6. Great weights for 'newborns' which they will OFFICIALLY be next week when they reach their official due date next Thursday. Olivia continues to struggle with her gaseous issues and her reflux, both of which I will be addressing with her new DR tomorrow. I feel as if the gas issue is part of the reason that she's not so willing to take her bottles and the reflux could also be part of this. So, we'll see. Sydney continues to on average take at least 1/2 of her bottle each time. However, both of the girls have started taking at least one full bottle a day since Friday night, which is a good sign. :) And Olivia continues to do GREAT on Room Air, so keep it up girlie no oxygen tank coming home with you (whenever that is).

I have requested that they try different bottles with the girls starting tomorrow, and I will be bringing in our Dr. Brown's bottles and Playtex Drop-ins bottles to try with them as well. I'm just searching for answers here that I really think Children's should have been doing 2 weeks ago. So, I'm taking matters into my own hands and doing this myself and telling my DR tomorrow or the NP how upset I am about this. I don't care that they have thrush, I'm mad about that, I feel that it should have been caught sooner. I KNOW OLivia's had it for quite some time, WHY didn't a nurse catch it. Seriously, it shouldn't have had to be caught by our NP, and that was only a CHANCE thing. So, more of OUR stuff to go to the NICU to be junked up I am sure, but if it gets them out of there, yay. I am also requesting tomorrow that they start Olivia on some meds for reflux. Maybe that will help her feel better and eat her bottles. Come on kids...it's time, it's beyond time. Seriously, what kind of bribes will you guys take to come home, I'm so at that point.

Here's the best part of our weekend...

Olivia...

Sydney...

Have a great day.

Signed, the seriously frustrated Mom who just wants her babies to come home, now damnit (yes I know I sound like a 2 year old and I don't care).